With the
Thanksgiving holiday just around the corner, it is time to
reflect on what we are truly thankful for in our lives.
Family, health, happiness, good friends. All important,
all worthy of raising a glass and toasting as we gather
together. Yet, as you fill your tummies with turkey and
your hearts with memories of Uncle Herbert fighting with
your three year old over the last drumstick, stop to
ponder some of the things we take for granted in our day
to day lives...
Modern Conveniences: I don't know about you, but I often
find myself being thankful for frozen food and my
microwave oven. From soup to hot chocolate to whole
lasagnas, I cannot remember the last time I actually
turned on my oven. With the fast paced life of carpools,
practices and eating on the run, the stove is basically a
large, white, metal objet d'art.
Sunrises: Nothing beats a gorgeous, pastel streaked feast
for the eyes first thing in the morning, unless of course,
said feast interrupted a dream about that other eye-candy,
Mel Gibson.
Make-up: As I greet myself in the mirror each morning, I
am eternally grateful to the many scientists who cook up
the cosmetics I use to morph from Gruella, Mistress of
Sheetwrinkles and Bedhead to Linda, well coifed and
mascara-ed mommy/wife Extraordinairre. Actually I think my
family may be more thankful than me . . .
Sugar & Fat Substitutes: Since Sweet N Low and Equal
came along, we have been free to enjoy our coffee
sweetened to the point it can curl our teeth. No calories,
just saccharin satisfaction. And then lo and behold,
scientists came along with Olestra, releasing snack foods
from the fatty confines that had held them hostage for so
long. Granted, there is the potential for some, how shall
we say?, indelicate side effects, but who cares about that
when you are happily wolfing down a bag of Doritos? I
think wearing a Depends is a fair trade for guilt-free
gobbling, don't you?
Toilet Paper: Yes, that's right, toilet paper. How can we
not offer thanks for a product dedicated to pampering our
posteriors? That freed us from corncobs in the outhouse?
That made us able to once again use our catalogs in the
only way Sears intended them to be used?
LYCRA: It may not be faster than a speeding bullet or more
powerful than a locomotive, but it is able to squish
cellulite in a single bound! Reshaping the physical
landscape, redefining the topography of our thighs, who
among us hasn't said a silent prayer of thanks as they don
this wonder fabric and miraculously fit into a dress that
moments before quivered in fear in the closet?
Boy Bands: Let us pause and offer thanks for the financial
genius of groups such as The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and 98
Degrees. Without them ensnaring the worship and adoration
of our children, how would we ever figure out what to do
with our money? Thank you from the bottom of my empty
wallet for providing an endless glut of CDs, posters, key
chains and magazines. My purse would be so much heavier to
carry without you.
Time passes quickly, the holiday will come and go, and
before you know it we will be decorating for the winter
festivities. So as you gather around the table, prepared
to enjoy the physical and emotional bounty of Thanksgiving
this year, pause for a moment and give thanks for at least
one item you normally take for granted. Personally I will
be giving thanks for the elastic in my pants that will
allow me to eat a second helping of everything and three
pieces of pie. Gobble, gobble.
**
Linda Sharp is an internationally recognized author &
columnist whose work wraps around the globe to appear in
print publications from Maine to Malaysia, as well as
across the web. Linda is also creator of the totally
irreverent and hysterical website, Sanity Central — A
Time Out From Parenting!, located at http://www.sanitycentral.com.
Her latest book, Stretchmarks On My Sanity: The Growing
Pains of Raising a Family, has earned her rave reviews and
comparisons to the late Erma Bombeck. She may be
reached via email at mailto:lsharp03@aol.com
This article provided by
the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com
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